In 2012, you poured acid on it and sizzled its face off. In 2011, you made it go kablooey in a microwave. In 2010, you stabbed it with a knife taped to the end of your trombone. In 2009 (aka, the Year For Which There Is No Link), you simply told it you didn’t believe in it and it went away.
But just like when Jason’s grave got struck by lightning, the 31 Horror Films in 31 Days challenge has come staggering back to gruesome life.
Can you believe its our 5th fearful year? Heck, all the best films in the boo biz are number 5s! Who could forget Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror and its fiery corn silo of doom? Or Puppet Master 5, wherein our friendly puppets resurrect the beloved Decapitron? Or Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker, which includes the old chestnut of death-by-circular-saw-attached-to-toy-truck?
Let’s get on with it, then. Below is our annual FAQ blah-de-blah, and, oh, here’s our annual suggestion that you look past the fact that this has nothing at all to do with books.
OUR FETID FAQ:
1. Do I need to watch a movie every night?
Who are you?? No one does that. You should, rather, focus on watching roughly 8 movies every Wednesday.
2. Can I watch a movie I have seen before?
Look, if you want to rewatch Evil Bong every year, that’s your problem, not mine.
3. Do I have to finish every movie?
You bring shame upon your family for even asking this. Break this rule and we lock you in the cellar with your deformed cousin.
4. How do I play?
Use the Twitter hashtag #31HorrorFilms31Days and tweet each film along the way, complete with a curt description/review. Example:
1. DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS: It doesn’t “eat” so much as it “dissolves people with yellow foam.” Does that make it a waterbed? Is its sleep number 666? Questions, questions.
5. How do I win?
You “win” as long as you manage 31 films before midnight on October 31. (But if you want to “really win,” you need to have the highest overall score.)
Lastly, do the (under)world a solid and help our f(r)iends over at The Blog Is Coming From Inside the House as they collect some data on gender roles in horror films. Because nothing says “terror” like “data.”
(Images via Final Girl.)