At Booklist, we take our work seriously . . . but not too seriously. In the tradition of “Reading Is My Business,” “The Read,” and “A Novel Idea,” I would like to present a groundbreaking thriller: “James Patterson’s Books: A Novel Not by James Patterson.” An author who writes books faster than readers can read them—it must be fiction, right?
Rod Penn sat in his corner office on the seventieth floor of World Book Review Enterprises Tower, which looked out on a magnificent view of the New York City skyline, which today was as beautiful as it always was.
But Rod wasn’t looking at the view. He was looking at the stack of books on his desk.
He sighed. Books had been getting more and more similar. Ever since James Patterson had become the best-selling author in the history of the printed word, things had changed. More accurately, Patterson had changed them.
Books now had more em-dashes—and more exclamation marks! Shorter sentences. And shorter chapters, too.